Things I've Learned About Marriage...So Far!

After my first few months as John's wife, I arrogantly believed myself to be fairly educated on the nature and workings of Christian marriage. But as John and I look forward to our seventh anniversary in August, I hope I've developed some humility about the matter. For the truth is that I've learned a few important things since leaving that church building on that late-summer afternoon.


For example, I've learned that the basic manners Mom taught me when I was a child are particularly important in my daily interactions with my husband. Simple phrases like "please," "thank you" and "I'm sorry" communicate respect. Although he vowed to be with me "till death us do part," I need to treat him with even more respect and courtesy than I would extend to a house guest.

Going along with the theme of respect, I've learned that my problems with John stay between us and the Lord. There may come a time when we'll need to go to a pastor or a counselor. I know of a man who's currently finding it necessary to see a marriage counselor without his wife (who's unwilling to accept instruction), and I admire his initiative. But in the conflicts that John and I have had up to this point, talking to girlfriends would be detrimental to our marriage. What happens between us stays between us!

As I planned this blog this morning, I asked John to forgo our morning ritual of listening to Focus On The Family so I could run this third "lesson" by him (I didn't want him to misinterpret it to mean that I'd fallen out of love with him--I haven't). I've learned, however, that the fluttery giddiness that I felt as a new bride has developed into a quiet contentment. Sometimes, I miss the euphoria, certainly. But I sure like knowing I belong to John.

I can think of a few other points, but it's getting late and the point I just made dovetails nicely into the lesson I wanted as the conclusion to this blog entry. I've learned, through marriage, to glimpse Christ's love for his Church through John's love for me.

Eph 5:22-33

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
NKJV